My mind it is a churnin'

I usually keep my posts pretty light-hearted. The point of my blog is to share our family story with friends and family who don't get to interact with us every day, but it's also our way of looking back and preserving memories (especially since I stopped scrapbooking the minute I got my sewing machine). As an added bonus, I've gotten to know some pretty great people through blogging.

My posting has been pretty scarce the past couple of weeks.

One reason was spring break and how little "free time" I have when Matt's home. We're too busy hanging out together for me to hide behind a computer.

Another reason is that I have way too much on my mind. That seems a little counter intuitive I guess because it would make sense for me to brain dump using this medium. It's easier for me to express my thoughts in writing, but for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. At least not yet.

So without going into too many details, here's a list of what's taking up space in my brain:

• Politics. I don't feel like I really "fit" with either party. I'd call myself conservative in that I want government to have a minimal role in everyday life, but I hate the narrow-mindedness that goes along with most "Church Republicans." On the other hand, I absolutely cannot buy into the government dependency that the Democratic party tends to create. There's a lot of hate on that side of the political spectrum, too.
• The Church. I've grown up in church. I know all the stories. I'm a good girl who follows the rules. But I truly believe in the gospel of Christ's redemption. I've done enough soul searching and have come to my own conclusions, so my faith truly is my own and not just something that's been fed to me my whole life. I'm thankful for my parents who taught us to THINK and have modeled true servanthood and commitment to Christ. But now that I'm on "the other side" as a children's ministry director, I see a whole new side of the Church. There is so much ugliness in peoples' hearts, mine included. We're studying 1 Peter in our ladies' Bible study right now, and it's convicting me a lot, especially in how I relate to certain people that are, um, hard to love.
• Social Justice. How do I really get involved in helping the poor? What does it look like practically for our family? Where do we even start in building relationships with those who are hurting outside of our little bubble? I ran across this post last night which has helped, but I'm struggling with what it looks like for our family to really get our hands dirty, so to speak.We just started a study called Seeking Social Justice in our Sunday School class, so I'm really excited to keep processing all that God's throwing in my face.
• Raising kids. How do you raise kids to love Jesus with all of their hearts without brainwashing them? I want my kids to really know God and serve him by loving his people. How do you teach them the reality of the gospel without it being completely legalistic?
• Etsy. I'm a perfectionist. This whole idea to start an Etsy shop has made me completely obsessive. I want to either do it right or not at all, and I've already gotten started so I guess there's not much of an option! So I'm currently overwhelmed with pricing, shipping, packaging, product descriptions, product photos, and how in the world we can afford the initial start up costs. And what if the baby accessory market is just too saturated and I completely fail?
• Event planning. I'm currently planning 11 events. Kids event at church tomorrow. Baby shower Sunday. Kid's ministry to the Ranger game. Bachelorette party. Landon's birthday party. VBS. Avery's birthday party. Preteen camp. And THREE vacations this summer.

There's more to the story, but that's why I've been pretty silent recently. I'll be back soon with more frivolity and fun pictures of cute kids. Maybe a Friday Five tomorrow?