God Provides. Always.

I can be what many may call a pessimist. I like to describe myself as a realist, but the semantics are irrelevant I suppose.

I've never doubted that God could provide for us, but I frequently question why he would. Really, who are we? We live in an extremely affluent country and would be considered incredibly wealthy by the majority of the world. Why should I be anything but grateful? And I am.

Quitting my well-paying job to stay home and raise our kids was still a step of faith for this over-controlling planner. Well, I say it was a step of faith. We had a whole lot of money saved for back-up funds to cover any shortages, and in the back of my mind I figured I'd just go back to work if/when we ran out of money.

But most months we withdraw money from our ever-dwindling savings account just to cover bills, and most months I stress out over when we're ever going to finish paying off Landon's hospital bills from his birth. Yes, that was almost 14 months ago.

Please don't think I'm complaining or saying we're poor. We're not. We have very little debt (mortgage and student loans), a nice home, eat nutritious food, and wear clean clothes.

But when those unexpected expenses come up, I always manage to freak out. Again.

Here's why I shouldn't.

• When Landon outgrew his car seat and we needed to buy a new one for Avery so we could pass hers down, we received a surprise financial gift from my ladies' Bible study group. It covered the entire cost.
• Because I need time to work at church, we're sending both kids to Mother's Day Out this year, which doubles that expense. But the entire expense has been covered. All of it.
• We got a certified letter in the mail a couple of months ago from our mortgage company that informed us that our payment history qualified us for a government refinancing program that required no money from us at all. We'll save $150 each month on our house payment.
• Right before we left for our Tennessee trip, the you-know-what hit the fan with both of our cars. Both were due for inspections and oil changes, and the minivan needed two new tires and new brakes. The very day that I was going to withdraw money from our savings account to pay for that madness, I found an envelope in my mailbox at church with an anonymous check written out to us for $500, the exact amount I was about to withdraw. I cried tears of gratitude for hours afterward. I'm just glad I was the only one there that afternoon. I'm an ugly crier.
• Our families have been such a blessing to us as well. Both of our moms have an uncanny ability to buy super cute clothes for our kids, usually just as they're outgrowing their current ones. My parents frequently invite us over for meals, and Matt's parents paid for the majority of our Tennessee trip.  

I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude and in awe of God's totally undeserved grace. We have done absolutely nothing at all to merit such good gifts, but I wanted to document them here so in the future I can look back at His faithfulness.

I know that in those times when He doesn't provide surprise checks and breaks from bills, God will still be faithful to sustain us. But today, I'm thankful for the blessings.